Most of us know the person we want to be.
We want to be more patient with our families. More faithful in our walk with God. More gracious when we're frustrated. More loving, more peaceful, and more like Christ.
Yet many of us carry around the quiet frustration of feeling like we aren't getting there.
We know what we should do. We know how we want to respond. We know what matters most. But somehow we keep finding ourselves in the same struggles, facing the same temptations, and wishing we were further along than we are.
If you've ever felt that way, you're not alone.
The Frustration of Trying Harder
When we want to change, our instinct is usually to try harder.
We promise ourselves we'll pray more consistently. We'll spend more time in Scripture. We'll be more patient, less anxious, or more disciplined. For a while, our determination carries us forward. Then life gets busy, old habits return, and we wonder why lasting change seems so difficult.
The Apostle Paul offered a different approach when he told Timothy to "train yourself for godliness" (1 Timothy 4:7).
That's different from simply trying harder.
Training is patient. Training is intentional. Training understands that growth takes place over time.
An athlete doesn't become strong in a single workout. A gardener doesn't expect fruit the day after planting a seed. In the same way, spiritual growth is usually the result of many small moments of faithfulness rather than one dramatic breakthrough.
The Kind of Growth God Wants
One of the encouraging truths we see throughout Scripture is that God is not asking us to transform ourselves.
He is the one doing the deeper work.
Our role is to place ourselves in a position where we can hear Him, follow Him, and allow Him to shape us.
That's why practices such as prayer, Scripture reading, silence, fasting, and Christian community matter. They aren't ways to earn God's love. They are ways of making room for God's work in our lives.
A gardener cannot make a seed grow. But a gardener can create healthy conditions for growth. We can't manufacture Christlikeness any more than a gardener can produce fruit by sheer effort. What we can do is remain connected to God and trust Him to continue changing us.
A Hopeful Way Forward
Perhaps the most encouraging part of spiritual formation is that God works with ordinary people.
You don't have to have extraordinary knowledge. You don't have to get everything right. You don't have to become a different person overnight.
You simply take the next step.
Maybe that's spending a few minutes in prayer. Maybe it's opening your Bible again after a season of neglect. Maybe it's creating space to listen instead of constantly rushing from one thing to the next.
Growth rarely happens as quickly as we would like. But God is far more patient than we are.
If you're discouraged because you've been trying and still feel stuck, take heart. The Christian life is not a sprint powered by determination. It's a lifelong journey of being shaped by God's grace.
And the good news is that He has not finished His work in you yet.